I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Randomize
