But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
you guys were way drunker than both of me
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
