"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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