i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
