I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
