I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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