Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
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