i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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