Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I think I just shit out all my problems.
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