I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
