After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
