oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
