it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
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