wrigley field is MILF paradise
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
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