I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
