very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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