Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
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