so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
