Soap is not a condiment
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
