why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
