i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
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