I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
