You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
