Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
