sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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