I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Randomize