wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Randomize
