Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
