i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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