he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
