It's Friday. Sex?
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
