My brain says no but my pants say off.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
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