I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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