I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
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