kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Randomize
