Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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