i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
