For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
