I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Randomize