Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
tell me about the eggs
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
