Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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