'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Randomize
