Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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