you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
my liver is dry heaving
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
