she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Randomize
