you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
