I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
