dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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