I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize