Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Randomize
