they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
