I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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