dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
