I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Randomize