i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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