whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Randomize
