omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Randomize
