I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
