Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Randomize
