what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Randomize