and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
